‘THE STARS IN YOUR EYES REFLECT THE SUNSHINE IN YOUR HEART’
My whole life is a stream of experiences. Nice and bad experiences. That’s the duality of life. The beautiful moments of the experiences of Oneness, the moments of bliss, where my pointers. They showed me the way how I could live my life to the fullest. Connecting heaven and earth by the heart. My heart pointed me the way by using the inner instruments: intuition, sense of discrimination, thinking and feelings. I learned by experience how to ‘ play’ these instruments, how I could be more honest to myself.
Those moments of bliss are now the flow of life itself in daily life: with my children, my husband, my work, in contact with others… How? Here is my story:
By birth the awareness of the inner light was already gone. There was darkness everywhere... The darkness of the unconsciousness of the parents. They were marked by their experiences. They couldn’t listen to their own story behind the thin surface of daily life. They loved their fear more then Love itself.
Their child, born the 14th of April 1960 in a small country near the sea, was different. That child desperately searched for the Love. Found peace in classical music, in stories that pointed to the inner self, in the colors that surrounded her…
I was that child.
I can remember a moment of great bliss, of great Oneness that is connected with the sea. I was 8 years old and when I was on the beach something happened. An experience beyond feeling felt every time I visited the sea. I became one with the sea and with life itself! I felt the wideness, could span the world! I didn’t knew why and how it happened, it happened, felt familiar and it felt beautiful! Yet, this feeling always disappeared when I was no longer near the sea. The only thing that was left was that moment as a memory… A memory of a moment of Oneness.
I sensed that there had to be more. That there had to be a possibility to experience this every second of the day in my life. Knowing and living this experience where the bliss was pointing to. So I went searching…
I was eighteen years old when I walked with a group of friends on the beach. Suddenly it started to rain and thunder. We started to run looking for shelter and suddenly a flash of lightning ended up next to my feet! The flash of light ricochet of in another direction, happily! Instead of a great shock I felt another moment of beautiful bliss! Different from the other moments I remembered. This moment had to do with me, with something in myself! It felt as a ´wake up call´. A very strong one…Why? Why I felt this, I didn't know. I went on searching…
As I grew older I did what I was expected to do. I studied and found work. I thought I followed my heart but that same heart gave me signals that that wasn’t the case… yet! One evening I visited a grand-cafe with a band playing catching dance music. I wanted to dance but almost nobody was dancing. Almost, except a boy with some friends. I looked into his eyes and knew this was him! Through the eyes I recognized the Love! We became close friends for some years. His moment of bliss, of Oneness, was in Rouen, France. A moment of a second but with an everlasting effect: he phoned me in Delft, the Netherlands, and said to me he loved me with whole his heart! Within two hours I was in Rouen. By plain, paid with my last savings… Our Oneness that now already lasts for more then 15 years, is expressed in the poem I recited when the civil servant asked me the question if I wanted to be the lawful wife of my husband:
I see you
Your eyes meet my eyes
There are no feelings or thoughts
Only the eyes
The eyes reflect the depth of our soul
We recognize it
It is far away and yet nearby
No feeling, thought or word can describe it
and yet it is there
Profound silence in this tender moment
Only the experience of infinity
There is no me and no you
I know I love you
'Yes I do'
The civil servant was astonished and …in heaven! He had never experienced such an answer.
Another blissful moment appeared in a dream. A moment that had and still has a tremendous influence on my life and that of my husband and children. A dream that is connected with all our talents…
When I was on a cross point in my life and I didn’t know what to do with my talent as an artist, I dreamed I had to establish a company. A company that should be given the name ‘De Witte Lelie’, the white lily. Not only the name was given but the dream also gave me the meaning of the name and by that the purpose, the aim and… my responsibility to use my talents!
The roots of the lily are growing deep down into the dark mud: You have to be rooted deep into life and dis-cover all your unconscious thoughts and actions.
The lily grows towards the water: Growing in life is listening to your feeling. To hear all your stories of life. To follow your own path.
And finally the lily grows towards the sun and a beautiful flower will blossom: Everyone wants to grow towards the inner house which is Love and blossom.
You can imagine that the meaning of this dream was a pointer to go deeper. To listen totally to my heart. This gave me a power that is unimaginable. A power that is invisible and at the same time visible through my talents: the paintings, the poems, the designs, everything I do.
What you are is what you create… My ‘wake up call’ can become someone others ‘wake up call’. My bliss, my experience of Oneness, are invitations for others. I searched and I have found! You can search and find!
"My family was harmonious but because of your art it become more harmonious!”
“I'm coming home again!”
"We never felt so at ease in a building!"
“When I stepped into the hall I felt a power of 'here is the warmth of life, here you can BE totally yourself!”
You and I are connected! For everyone is a place on this earth otherwise you weren't born! It can become a heaven on earth because of our Oneness. Listen to your heart, listen to the Love…
Love does not force
yet it is forceful.
Love is never not there
yet people crave for it every second of their existence.
Love is not material
yet is materializes itself.
Love is selfless
and yet it serves every purpose of the Self.
Love knows no fear
and yet it evokes fear.
Love is like the green grass, fresh after a spring rain.
As strong as grass for which even concrete bows.
Love is strong as a rock
and transparant as the air you breathe.
Love is free
and yet it is unfree.
Love knows no ties
and yet is forges ties.
as clear as a diamond
radiant in the sunshine.
Purusha van de Graaf
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